Beware - Baby Talk

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Traece
Post Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:02 pm   Post subject: Beware - Baby Talk
Traece




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Post Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:02 pm   Post subject: Beware - Baby Talk
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Since a few Cesspoolians are popping out babies we thought it might be a good idea to have a thread to share baby talk.

I will start with a recommendation - some lovely peoples gifted us with a magical bin that makes dirty nappies disappear and smell no more - here is an example of the magical device


Please feel free to share any baby related tips and tricks here.
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Coach
Post Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 12:37 pm   Post subject:
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Post Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 12:37 pm   Post subject:
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That seems like a useful invention, thanks Trace. I will keep it in mind when the time comes that I am sick of sleeping in Omar Sharif
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FairyJoe
Post Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 1:56 pm   Post subject:
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Post Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 1:56 pm   Post subject:
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S.Traaken
Post Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 4:14 pm   Post subject:
S.Traaken
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Post Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 4:14 pm   Post subject:
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Babies bounce, so they're probably not broken1.

Edit: To clarify - it's really easy to get fixated on things that seem critically important, and it seems to be life-or-death for you and/or your child if things don't happen in exactly the way you had planned/expected/hoped. The reality is that almost nothing matters that much, that baby humans are resilient and will thrive in spite of your best intentions :P It also means that you can and should ignore most advice given to you (except this advice Omar Sharif)

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Smee
Post Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 5:52 pm   Post subject:
Smee
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Post Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 5:52 pm   Post subject:
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S.Traaken wrote:
(except this advice Omar Sharif)

o rly? ya rly.
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FairyJoe
Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 8:33 am   Post subject:
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Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 8:33 am   Post subject:
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S.Traaken wrote:
It also means that you can and should ignore most advice given to you (except this advice Omar Sharif)


It's actually kinda interesting. There have been many many people offer us the following advice.

"You're going to get lots of people giving you advice. Take all of it with a grain of salt and don't be afraid to do it your own way."

And yet, aside from those bits of advice, almost no one has given us other advice that we could take with a grain of salt. All the advice we've received has been along the lines of "Don't listen to other people's advice".
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Scarlett
Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 8:49 am   Post subject:
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Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 8:49 am   Post subject:
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FairyJoe wrote:
S.Traaken wrote:
It also means that you can and should ignore most advice given to you (except this advice Omar Sharif)


It's actually kinda interesting. There have been many many people offer us the following advice.

"You're going to get lots of people giving you advice. Take all of it with a grain of salt and don't be afraid to do it your own way."

And yet, aside from those bits of advice, almost no one has given us other advice that we could take with a grain of salt. All the advice we've received has been along the lines of "Don't listen to other people's advice".

I think it depends on the kind of people you have a lot of contact with. One of mum's girls in the salon had a baby recently and she was quite overwhelmed by the advice of a lot of the older women who got their hair done weekly. I think there is the propensity for some people, often people you don't know very well, to want to help you out and take some kind of ownership when they see you're pregnant. It reminds me of the story mum has told me about when she was pregnant with me and how she was horrified that strangers wanted to come up and touch her stomach. She wasn't a real baby person until she had me so was really shocked and uncomfortable.
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S.Traaken
Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 9:39 am   Post subject:
S.Traaken
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Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 9:39 am   Post subject:
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FairyJoe wrote:
S.Traaken wrote:
It also means that you can and should ignore most advice given to you (except this advice Omar Sharif)


It's actually kinda interesting. There have been many many people offer us the following advice.

"You're going to get lots of people giving you advice. Take all of it with a grain of salt and don't be afraid to do it your own way."

And yet, aside from those bits of advice, almost no one has given us other advice that we could take with a grain of salt. All the advice we've received has been along the lines of "Don't listen to other people's advice".


Expectation, or perceived expectation - particularly from close friends and relatives who appear to be/have been successful, knowledgeable, and/or wise parents can put an unreasonable burden on new parents to care for their baby in a particular way, or to have a child that has achieved some arbitrary benchmark within a certain seemingly-improbable timeframe (he's only 7 months old, and he's had his first academic paper published, bless 'im).

I have met people that will forcefully present their experience as The Only True Way To Raise A Child What Are You Some Kind Of Idiot Child Hater? - not in those words, but in the way they act, and not realising how unpleasant they are in doing so. From the other side, it can be really frustrating to see someone struggling with a particular problem that you "know" you have "solved" for your own child - If They Would Only Listen To Me, Things Could Be So Much Easier. And you may not realise until later how unpleasant you have been Sad Panda

The care of children is something that parents (in particular) rate very highly - you don't want to appear to be negligent or to have failed to do less than your best, and so it is easy to land in a situation where you feel guilt or shame when you haven't met a standard set (possibly implicitly) by the people you respect around you. It's difficult to be objective as a new parent.

For this reason, permission to ignore advice is important. Encouragement to set your own standards and expectations is important. If you are acting in the interest of your child - and you are caring for yourself and your partner (should you have one), the specific details of how you care for your child are far less important.

To go a step further, what I would encourage is - as a parent - to ask for help, suggestions, ideas, feedback from people you trust - and to then feel free to ignore their advice if it doesn't apply, for whatever reason.

I have three daughters. I would be delighted to give my perspective on questions about the raising of babies and children. I have no desire to impose any expectations on anyone.

(nothing in here is intended to disagree in any way with Scarlett's comments - I write based on my own observation and experience)

All that said, I'll add some genuine "advice" below :)
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Scarlett
Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 9:47 am   Post subject:
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Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 9:47 am   Post subject:
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I didn't think it was disagreeing at all! We were both saying the same thing ie some people are very quick to push advice onto new parents! I think Jeans are lucky in that their family and friends and people they have contact with dont seem to be doing it!
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S.Traaken
Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 9:53 am   Post subject:
S.Traaken
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Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 9:53 am   Post subject:
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S.Traaken's simple ideas for the care of babies #1:

Wrap your child tight. Really tight. Don't cut off circulation or stop them breathing, but make it hard for them to move their arms. They just came out of a womb - they don't need lots of space to move.

The reasoning - right or wrong - is that keeping them tightly wrapped gives them a womby sense of security, and that if they can't move their arms while they sleep, random flailing won't wake them up.

http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/wrapping_newborn.html appears to cover the sorts of things we'd do.

Potential downsides: if you child is used to being tightly wrapped, when they may not settle when not tightly wrapped.

Wrapping worked well for our children, and I have observed it working well for others' as well - particularly increasing the amount of time they sleep at night. Even just restricting the movement of an unsettled newborn's hands can help calm the child.

If it doesn't work or you don't wish to do so - or if you consider me a criminal for my inconsiderate confinement and restriction of freedoms of a human child, by all means use a different method. May your child enjoy their freedom :)
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dinnyland
Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 10:22 am   Post subject:
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Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 10:22 am   Post subject:
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Hopefully my baby won't think she is a dog, that's all I know how to raise ( and even that's debatable!!!) also I really wanted to post a BEWARE BABIES sign in the style of the BEWARE DOG sings cut that's what the title makes me think of but I can't be bothered photoshoping right now! P.S I have heard/seen that wrapping the bubs up nice and tight works well too
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Smee
Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:05 am   Post subject:
Smee
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Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:05 am   Post subject:
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I don't think we wrapping Ami tight enough, thanks for the link! I will read it when I am not on my phone.
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S.Traaken
Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:00 pm   Post subject:
S.Traaken
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Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:00 pm   Post subject:
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Looking at that link again, it's not quite the method we used - folding the wrap over the baby's arms (like the picture) and then tucking it in behind the baby's back so the arms are down by their sides. If the wrap is big enough, fold the bottom part up and wrap around again nice and tight - less slack => less movement, less movement => less loosening of the bindings wrap.

It's not a Magical Solution That Caused My Child To Sleep For 8 Hours The Secret Can Be Yours For Only N+1 Instalments Of $19.95, but it can help.
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Scarlett
Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:59 pm   Post subject:
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Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:59 pm   Post subject:
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S.Traaken wrote:

It's not a Magical Solution That Caused My Child To Sleep For 8 Hours The Secret Can Be Yours For Only N+1 Instalments Of $19.95, but it can help.

i lolled at this! lol furry Richard Dean Anderson lol
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SuperRatBum
Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 4:27 pm   Post subject:
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Post Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 4:27 pm   Post subject:
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Wrapping worked well for our kids also. However Emenem was a bit to aggressive for them.

No seriously it it help the biggest issue as S.Trakken pointed out was getting them out of the habit.

I have a tip also, don't get to caught up on sterilizing everything all part of building a healthy immune system. Em and I basically just crack the mud off them in the evening to make sure they are ours. I grew up on farms and dirt is a part of life...
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